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With today’s non-stop news cycle constantly blasting out bad news, it’s easy to feel weighed down by the state of the world. Rather than allowing negativity to zap your energy, focus on gratitude instead.
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Most people don’t realize that the real source of happiness is gratitude, not the other way around. To maximize your happiness this Thanksgiving and throughout the year, follow the seven tips below.
1. Bring sunshine to someone else’s day
Several years ago, I had a long-time friend who had been admitted into Alzheimer’s care. About 18 months before he was diagnosed, he was doing his own taxes, managing his portfolio, driving and caring for himself.
The day I flew out to see him in California, he was seated at a table having lunch with another Alzheimer’s patient named Louis. My friend was happily enjoying his salad with his fingers.
I kidded Louis about not keeping up. Louis took a piece of lettuce and ate it with his fingers as well. He then gave me the biggest smile. Later, during the meal, two different caregivers stopped by to cut up Louis’s food and to feed him.
I continued to kid Louis about not keeping up and he continued to work on the lettuce one bite at a time. He was almost giggling. One of the caregivers stopped by and was astounded that he was smiling. “
“Don’t make my Louis mad,” she warned.
A second caregiver came by and said, “I’ve never seen him like this — he looks so happy.”
When we finished the meal, I said goodbye to Louis, explaining that I live in Texas and would enjoy seeing him the next time I was in California. He took my hand and squeezed it tightly. His smile said it all — he was happy.
As I left the facility, it dawned on me how much a warm smile and a few minutes of conversation can do to improve someone else’s day. In fact, research published in Psychology Today shows that helping others boosts both your mood and longevity in at least five different ways.
When we brighten someone else’s day, we inevitably make ours better as well.
2. Choose your focus
Our focus largely determines our happiness. When we zero in on what brings joy instead of what drains us, our lives become brighter. Studies suggest that exposure to negative news increases stress and anxiety. When I stopped watching the TV news and switched to listening to classical music when I’m driving, my stress level dropped substantially. My driving was more focused as well.
Listening to your favorite music is a great way to lift your spirits and filter out distractions. In addition to reducing stress by lowering cortisol levels, music can boost your mood.
The key to maximizing your results is to choose the right type of music for the right task. For example, if you’re working on a task requiring a high degree of concentration, listening to music with lyrics can not only be distracting, it can interfere with memory retention.
On the other hand, when you’re engaged in a boring task, fast-paced music can stimulate your mind and result in better performance. So, the next time you’re feeling stressed, turn off the news, put on your favorite music playlist, and unwind.
3. ‘Taste the kitchen’
One of my neighbors has a saying: “Taste the kitchen.” To him, it means engaging in as many of life’s opportunities as possible. It’s about constantly being curious and trying things you haven’t experienced before.
For example, try a different flavor of ice cream, visit a museum, attend a free lecture at your local library, or visit a winery for a tour and a tasting. There are thousands of ways to enrich your life every day just by doing something you haven’t done before.
Being curious also translates into having a better real estate business. When you are genuinely curious about the people you meet, the kind of foods they like, what they do for recreation, and how they spend their spare time you will strengthen your listening skills. This in turn creates the basis for creating trust and generating future business.
4. Take a bite instead of the whole feast
Sometimes we miss out on joy by holding out for something “perfect” that may never come. Instead, take small steps toward your dreams. You might not be able to buy a 55-foot sailboat, but a weekend rental would give you a taste of that adventure. Better yet, join a sailing club where you can enjoy sailing without the cost and maintenance of owning a boat.
5. Remember life is a long-term project
Everyone faces ups and downs, but it’s the tough times that make us appreciate the good ones. When you face challenges and overcome them, you strengthen your resilience and earn how to navigate difficult times more easily while also gaining a deeper appreciation for when you do experience the exhilarating highs.
If you need help in this area, this American Psychological Association article shares a roadmap for how to strengthen your resilience and emerge from challenging events even stronger than before.
6. Trust that the right things will happen, even if they hurt
Take a moment to reflect on past hardships. What helped you cope then? Would any of the strategies that you used in the past be helpful in your current situation? Painful experiences often shape us in profound ways, teaching us resilience and strength.
Second, accepting help from others can also be healing for both sides; when we let others lend a hand, we create a support network that enriches everyone involved.
7. Make room for gratitude
At Thanksgiving, it’s easy to overload our plates — both literally and figuratively. Often, we fill our schedules to the brim without pausing to consider whether all of it truly serves us.
Buddha’s wisdom is worth remembering here: “You cannot add tea to a cup that is still full.”
Take a step back, release what isn’t serving you, and refill your metaphorical cup with joy, laughter and gratitude.
By shifting your focus and making room for new, positive experiences, you can cultivate happiness and build a foundation of gratitude that will sustain you all year long.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, and the founder of RealEstateWealthForWomen.com is a national speaker, author and trainer with over 1,500 published articles.